I have noticed amongst married women both in Nigeria and beyond over what I call a 'deliberate shift of attention, love and affection they hitherto gave to their husbands to their children'. Many women have this nonchalant attitude not to show love to their husbands any more after collecting the sacred nuptial ring. They contend that after all, they are now married, forgetting unwittingly that it is easier to get married than to stay married! Men are creatures of love, forget all the hard nature pretences of manly strength and masculinist ostentation, they seek care, affection, pampering and peace just like women If not more than them. A Man can be overtly jealous but he is more won't to show it than a woman readily would. When women create an emotional void, a shift of care to their kids and a gaping hole of disaffection, most men readily seek love in the arms of other women; mistresses, secretaries, 'friends' and allies. Women later cry foul and say men are cheats. They caused it in the first place. Some women's total dedication two years into their marriage is to their kid(s) especially their male child. Once, their 'joy' eats, they care less. So long he wears cloths, they can't be bothered about their husbands. In all of this, I just wonder who they met first, the child or their husband. Most men will also not complain much about this unacceptable domestic discrimination because of ego, maturity and the fact that the new 'husband' is also their son. They hug their pains and look outside for a back up. It is totally shocking that some women refuse to perform their sexual obligation because of their children. They place their 'sick' kid(s) between them and their husbands to flag the red light and dress like an astronaut to bed to send a signal of 'no signal tonight' to their husbands. It is immaterial whether they have nannies, maids or their mother-in-laws around to attend to the baby. They prefer to make the baby a tool and toy for sexual rejection. Why you should not make your kid your husband.
1. Your child is not your husband but just your child. Know the difference. You met your husband before him or her. The head came before the ache and boil. Don't desert your first love for the new one.
2. Too much closeness and attachment with your son will bring enmity between you and your daughter-in-law in the nearest future. Stop doting over her husband, you have yours!
3. Your sons and daughters will leave you sooner than later! They have their own lives to live. They will marry and cleave to their spouses. If you have created so much distance between you and your husband because of your love for your children, it will be very difficult If not impossible to stage a comeback into his heart.
4. Children are to be catered for, parents are to be respected, husbands are to be loved and submitted to, in everything. Know your role. You have lost your right to dictate your 'bed mood' once you say 'I do' to a man. He should have access to you. A man should also be considerate and not make killing, burdening sexual demands. Remember, a hungry woman is never in the mood, make a woman happy financially and emotionally and you will cure her 'mood swings'.
5. No one can serve two masters! You cannot afford to share your affection equally between your husband and your son or daughter. One party will suffer it even If you don't admit it. Be a 'Ruth' and see the best in your husband. Sow love and reap fidelity, affection and peace.
It shall be well with your marriages.
