1. After receiving a thorough beating, abusive pummeling and severe bashing by the man you claim to love in the evening, cry heartily for a moment, go on your knees and beg him for forgiveness for crying whilst he was beating you and for all your wrong deeds- it counts for nothing that you didn't offend him or that the domestic 'panshing' was unprovoked...(Oh Oh, Its too early to laugh)
2. Go to the kitchen and prepare his favourite dish together with a tasty but very peppery fresh fish or chicken or goat meat pepper soup. 3. Take a cold shower, freshen up and use your best cologne- let your pheromones be fresh and comely, just the way he likes it and wear just your lingerie, a see-through nightie or a sexy hot bum short and or a discomfortingly tight sexy top that will almost make your luscious boobs erupting like the hot steam from an improperly covered pot of yam on fire and let it assault your neck, his sensibilities and sexuality, whilst you walk seductively around him. Make yourself irresistible and he'll long to have a bite! 4. Go to him, carry the delicacy and kneel down whilst dropping the sacrifice, sorry, I mean the tray of food and pepper soup before him. If he is still angry or forming vexed, just apologize to him again for beating you again on your knees, plead with him to come and eat the peace offering you specially made for the oracle, sorry, him- your husband. 5. Spoonfeed him a little, then allow him to eat his meal in peace. You have to eat from his own food to confirm, you are not poisoning him (at least not yet)! Then, as soon as you discover that he is enjoying the meal, go to the back quietly, speak romantically into his ear these sweet words 'thunder fire your mouth!', then kindly but swiftly pour, titrate and baptise that his big head and face with the hot peppery pepper soup, let the pepper enter his eyes. Hope you remember to put enough pepper and hot spices in the pepper soup? 6. Whilst your brutish husband is struggling to locate the kitchen or bathroom to wash off the pepper, beat the monstrous demon of domestic violence out of his system. Use his very long leather belt, cudgel, pankere, soldier's cane or koboko soaked in kerosene or ota piapia to whip him thoroughly. Beat him like a mad goat lost in the wicked's compound but make sure you don't come close to him at all, be far from him like a long pole. But if you have the liver to come close and the strength to fight him, use his clothe to blindfold him, disarm him by hitting him below the belt, beat him to stupor so tey you can drag him on the floor with his leg or his third leg and lock him up in the store till the arrival of thugs you have contracted to further beat him up. 7. Stand near the locked room and tell him his brief unpleasant history, tell him how stupid his sorry ass is, reiterate that only cowards and deranged idiots lay their filthy hands on women. 8. Pack all ya load and bounce-waka. NB: Your luggage must have been packed whilst dressing up in the room. 9. If you do not have the Dutch courage or the Brazilian confidence to pour him the hot pepper soup, let him finish the meal and give him a really hot wild never-seen-before erotic wild session and watch him sleep off after jerking off. Whilst he is fast asleep, tie a rope to the ceiling fan on one hand and tie it to his flat and drained device quietly and soothingly but make its grip tight and switch on the fan- put it on 5, the highest frequency! Let it roll fast and watch him beg for mercy. 10. If you can't do number 9, wait till he is having his bath in the bath tub the next morning, make sure he already has soapy foams on his face and drop a plugged boiling ring or plugged radio inside the water in the bath tub and watch him groan from electrocution pains! If all these plans fail, just abscond or sell him on OLX!
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