I have discovered that there are childish things that we need to deal with before we can be good partners to the people we love. We need to stop being adults acting like children in our relationships this year. Here are some of those things:
Having your way all the time does not happen in the adult world.
Selfishness is a trademark for children. When we were little, we were always being taught to share. Don’t eat that sweet all by yourself, share with your friend. Well, sometimes we did, sometimes we didn't. This selfishness is an attitude you can’t bring to marriage. You will be required to lay down your opinions and your way of doing things every now and then. Remember, love is kind and does not seek its own.
Throwing tantrums has no place in marriage:
I am sure you have seen a desperate mother trying to calm her little angel down who is crying and kicking because she wants everything in the supermarket. Not a pretty sight. Do you cause a scene when you are angry and no one can calm you down? You need to deal with that awful behavior. You need to learn to fight fair. Name calling, shouting and being dramatic hurts your partner and makes you look bad.
Silent treatment is a lousy way to solve conflict:
In the adult world, people sit down and talk through the conflict. If you need sometime to think through an issue or calm down first discussing something, just ask. Say, “Sweetie, I am not ready to talk about this right now. Can we pick this up tomorrow evening?” This is much better than your partner walking on eggshells for days on end never knowing what they did to upset and when you will start talking to them again.
Keeping score and getting even is for the playground:
Throwing tantrums has no place in marriage:
I am sure you have seen a desperate mother trying to calm her little angel down who is crying and kicking because she wants everything in the supermarket. Not a pretty sight. Do you cause a scene when you are angry and no one can calm you down? You need to deal with that awful behavior. You need to learn to fight fair. Name calling, shouting and being dramatic hurts your partner and makes you look bad.
Silent treatment is a lousy way to solve conflict:
In the adult world, people sit down and talk through the conflict. If you need sometime to think through an issue or calm down first discussing something, just ask. Say, “Sweetie, I am not ready to talk about this right now. Can we pick this up tomorrow evening?” This is much better than your partner walking on eggshells for days on end never knowing what they did to upset and when you will start talking to them again.
Keeping score and getting even is for the playground:
This idea of reminding your partner all the things they have done since 1964 has got to stop. This is an issue especially with women. I admit even I do it. I need to work harder to forgive and forget. We need to stop trying to get even, to have the last word. A wise man once said that you can win an argument but lose a friend. Here is something I have been constantly reminding myself, my husband and I are on the same team. It is us against the world not us against each other.
Commitment issues:
Children are known to have a short concentration span…They get distracted easily, especially by shiny objects This should cease with age. Concentrate on the one you love, focus your attention to her and if she is what you want in a life partner, commit to her, and to her alone. Don’t be distracted by shiny objects.
No one can love you the way you should love yourself:
Commitment issues:
Children are known to have a short concentration span…They get distracted easily, especially by shiny objects This should cease with age. Concentrate on the one you love, focus your attention to her and if she is what you want in a life partner, commit to her, and to her alone. Don’t be distracted by shiny objects.
No one can love you the way you should love yourself:
Marriage is not the place to have your self-esteem issues solved. Learn to love yourself. If you expect your man to love and validate you all the time, you will be disappointed. Only God can love you fully, man will always fall short. Be complete in God first; don’t expect someone to complete you.
Happily ever after takes work:
Happily ever after takes work:
Most stories and movies always end with boy and girl conquering all to be together and they live happily ever after. What no one tells you is that meeting the love of your life is just the beginning. Successful and happy marriages take lots of work. Take a look at your folks to learn – married for 30+ years, 3 kids (or more)…they have given you a good education, taught you great principles and they are still investing in your life by calling you every now and then. Now, that is not easy; it is something you do deliberately and continuously.
Lets strive to be better people in our relationships. Marriage is not for children, or for adults acting like children.
Lets strive to be better people in our relationships. Marriage is not for children, or for adults acting like children.
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